Introduction

Eight months ago, I took a leadership course inspired by EST (Erhard Seminar Training), and it changed my life. It helped me improve my relationship with my wife, my work at iO, my project Lyreco (an iO client), staying fit, publishing my Sudoku app, and starting a basketball community for iO employees and clients. It was one of the best investments I've made, and it reinforced my goal of becoming a great leader. To achieve this, I need to master self-leadership by staying organised and keeping my promises.

In this article, I'll share insights from resources like "Integrity: A Positive Model that Incorporates the Normative Phenomena of Morality, Ethics, and Legality," as well as my personal experiences from coaching sessions and daily leadership training. Over the past six months, I've spent two hours a day journaling, doing leadership exercises, and reflecting. While this routine works for me, you don't need to follow it exactly—I'll share practical steps that might work for you.

Integrity is essential for great leadership. Without it, leadership is meaningless.

Often, I hear vague advice on social media, like: "Great leaders have discipline," "You need integrity," "Be authentic."

The problem is, just hearing or reading these messages doesn't help me become a person with integrity. It's not actionable advice.

So, how do I create a clear path to integrity? In this article, I'll introduce a conversational framework that provides direct access to integrity. I recommend reading the primary article I've linked above as well.

Let's start with how integrity is defined in that document.

Definition of integrity

From the document:

"Integrity is defined as a state or condition of being whole, complete, unbroken, unimpaired, sound, and in perfect condition."

But what does integrity mean for individuals?

From the document:

In this new model, integrity for a person is a matter of that person's word, nothing more and nothing less. Be it my word to myself (e.g., making a promise to myself, or a comment to myself about myself), or my word to others, in fact, it is my word through which I define and express myself, both for myself and for others.

So, in simple terms, personal integrity means honouring your word.

But what does it actually mean to "honour one's word"? Let's explore that.

The two wings of honouring one's word

From the document:

In this new model of integrity we define honouring your word as:

• Keeping your word (and on time)
• Just as soon as you become aware that you will not be keeping your word (including not keeping your word on time) saying to everyone impacted:
  • a) that you will not be keeping your word, and
  • b) that you will keep that word in the future, and by when, or that you won't be keeping that word at all, and
  • c) what you will do to deal with the impact on others of the failure to keep your word (or to keep it on time).

The second "wing" is crucial for maintaining integrity. If you rely only on the first wing, your world remains small. Imagine your word is to be in the office every day by 9 AM. To keep this promise without fail, you'd have to leave at 6 AM daily to account for any potential accidents or traffic.

Another common scenario is when people ask about your task delivery timeline, and your responses are filled with conditions and vagueness like, "I can't say for sure. Maybe today or tomorrow. If there's no issue with the API or design, I'll deliver."

Consider these examples:

Example of Keeping Your Word (and on time):

You are given a task to add a new login feature to an app and promise to finish it by the end of the week. You plan your time well, focus on this task all week, and complete it by Friday as you said you would. This shows you kept your promise and met the deadline.

Example Communicating When You Will Not Be Keeping Your Word:

You're working on a feature update for a client, with a deadline set for Wednesday. Halfway through the project, you find a major bug that causes a big delay. As soon as you know you can't meet the deadline, you quickly tell your project manager and the client. You explain:

1. You won't be able to deliver the update by Wednesday.
2. You give a new completion date, explaining how long it will take to fix the issue and finish the project.
3. To lessen the impact, you offer a temporary solution or focus on fixing the critical bug to reduce disruptions for the client until the full update is ready.

One's word definition

From the document:

In this new model of integrity, we define a person's word as consisting of each of the following

1. What You Said

   • Whatever you have said you will do or will not do, and in the case of do, by when you said you would do it.

2. What You Know

   • Whatever you know to do or know not to do, and in the case of do, doing it as you know it is meant to be done and doing it on time, unless you have explicitly said to the contrary.

3. What Is Expected of you by those with whom you wish to have a workable relationship (unless you have explicitly declined those unexpressed requests).

4. What You Say Is So

   • Whenever you have given your word to others as to the existence of some thing or some state of the world, your word includes being willing to be held accountable that the others would find your evidence for what you have asserted also makes what you have asserted valid for themselves.

5. What You Stand For

   • What you stand for is fundamental to who you are for yourself and who you are for others. What you stand for is a declaration constituted by
     • a) who you hold yourself to be for yourself as that for which you can be counted on from yourself (whether specifically articulated by you or not), and
     • b) who you hold yourself out to be for others as that for which you can be counted on by others (or have allowed others to believe as that for which you can be counted on).

6. Moral, Ethical And Legal Standards

   • The social moral standards, the group ethical standards and the governmental legal standards of right and wrong, good and bad behaviour, in the society, groups and state in which one enjoys the benefits of membership are also part of one's word (what one is expected to do) unless
     • a) one has explicitly and publicly expressed an intention to not keep one or more of these standards, and
     • b) one is willing to bear the costs of refusing to conform to these standards (the rules of the game one is in).

Here are more examples for each one:

1. What You Said:
   • You told your manager you'd finish the new feature by next Friday.
   • You promised not to release any code without a peer review.
2. What You Know:
   • You know you need to write tests for every new piece of code to make sure it works well.
   • You know not to merge your code into the main branch until all issues from the review are fixed.
3. What Is Expected of You:
   • Your team expects you to join daily meetings to share your progress.
   • Your clients expect you to keep the app running during business hours as agreed.
4. What You Say Is So:
   • You told your team the new module works well with the current system.
   • You said the recent software bug is fixed and showed test results to prove it.
5. What You Stand For:
   • You believe in delivering high-quality code, making sure your projects are free from avoidable mistakes.
   • You see yourself as someone who values teamwork, always ready to help colleagues.
6. Moral, Ethical, and Legal Standards:
   • You follow the company's coding rules, making sure not to copy open-source code without giving credit.
   • You follow data protection laws, ensuring user data is handled according to GDPR when working on apps for EU users.

We've talked about how important integrity is and how it includes what we say, what we know, what others expect from us, what we claim, what we stand for, and the moral, ethical, and legal rules we follow.

Now, let's look at some hidden reasons why we might not keep our word. These reasons are often missed but are important for maintaining trust.

Eleven hidden factors hiding out-of-integrity behaviour

1. Not seeing that who you are as a person is your word
2. Living as if my Word is only What I Said (Word 1) and What I Assert Is True (Word 4)
3. "Integrity is a virtue"
4. Doing a cost/benefit analysis on giving one's word
5. Doing a cost/benefit analysis on honouring one's word
6. Integrity is a Mountain with No Top
7. Not having your word in existence when it comes time to keep your word
8. Not doing a cost/benefit analysis on giving one's word
9. Doing a cost/benefit analysis on honouring one's word
10. Integrity is a Mountain with No Top
11. Not having your word in existence when it comes time to keep your word

Now, let's look at each of these factors in more detail.

1. Not seeing that who you are as a person is your word

From the document:

That is, thinking that who you are as a person is anything other than your word. For example, thinking that who you are is your body, or what is going on with you internally (your mental/emotional state, your thoughts/thought processes and your bodily sensations), or anything else you identify with such as your title or position in life, or your possessions, etc… leaves you unable to see that when your word is less than whole and complete you are diminished as a person.

A person is constituted in language. As such, when a person's word is less than whole and complete they are diminished as a person.

Example:

Alex is a software engineer who is very good at coding. He believes being a tech expert defines him.

Alex promises to finish a new software feature by the end of the month. But he gets too focused on perfecting the code and misses the deadline. He thinks it's okay because he's the "expert."

Alex forgets that keeping promises is important. By missing the deadline, people start to trust him less, no matter how good he is at coding. Not keeping his word makes him seem unreliable to others.

2. Living as if my word is only what I said (word 1) and what I assert Is True (word 4)

From the document:

Even if we are clear that in the matter of integrity our word exists in six distinct ways, most of us actually function as if our word consists only of what I said or what I assert is true.

This guarantees that we cannot be a person of integrity. For us, Words 2, 3, 5, and 6 are invisible as our word:

• Word-2: What you know to do or not to do
• Word-3: What is expected of you by those with whom you wish to have a workable relationship (unless you have explicitly declined those unexpressed requests)
• Word-5: What you stand for
• Word-6: Moral, ethical and legal standards of each society, group, and governmental entity of which I am a member

When we live as though our word is limited to

• Word 1: What I said and
• Word 4: What I say is so,

we are virtually certain to be out of integrity with regard to our word as constituted in Words 2, 3, 5 and 6.

In such cases, all the instances of our word (be it the word of an individual or organisation) that are not spoken or otherwise communicated explicitly are simply invisible as our word to such individuals or organisations.

In our lives, all the instances of our Words 2, 3, 5 and 6 simply do not show up (occur) for us as our having given our word.

Example: Sarah thinks integrity is just about what she says and what she claims is true. For example, she tells her team she'll attend meetings and believes being honest about project status is enough.

• Sarah doesn't think about things she knows she should or shouldn't do (Word 2).
• She doesn't consider what others expect from her (Word 3).
• She ignores her core values (Word 5).
• She overlooks ethical guidelines (Word 6).
• She misses deadlines even when she knows they're important (Word 2).
• She ignores colleagues who expect her help with team tasks (Word 3).
• She overlooks the importance of teamwork (Word 5).
• She doesn't follow company rules about transparency (Word 6).

By focusing only on spoken words and claims, Sarah misses many parts of integrity. This makes people trust her less, even if she thinks she's being honest.

3. "Integrity is a virtue"

From the document:

For most people and organisations, integrity exists as a virtue rather than as a necessary condition for performance. When held as a virtue rather than as a factor of production, integrity is easily sacrificed when it appears that a person or organisation must do so to succeed.

For many people, virtue is valued only to the degree that it engenders the admiration of others, and as such it is easily sacrificed especially when it would not be noticed or can be rationalised. Sacrificing integrity as a virtue seems no different than sacrificing courteousness, or new sinks in the men's room.

Example:

Tom runs a small business. He thinks integrity is just about looking good, like being polite. He doesn't see it as important for success.

One day, Tom realizes he can make more money by breaking a small promise to a customer. He thinks it's okay because no one will notice, and making money seems more important.

For Tom, integrity is just a nice quality, not something necessary for his business. So, he easily gives it up for a quick gain, just like he might skip being polite when no one's watching.

4. Self-Deception about being out-of-integrity

From the document:

People are mostly unaware that they have not kept their word. All they see is the 'reason', rationalisation or excuse for not keeping their word. In fact, people systematically deceive (lie to) themselves about who they have been and what they have done.

As Chris Argyris concludes: "Put simply, people consistently act inconsistently, unaware of the contradiction between their espoused theory and their theory-in-use, between the way they think they are acting and the way they really act." And if you think this is not you, you are fooling yourself about fooling yourself.

Because people cannot see their out-of-integrity behaviour, it is impossible for them to see the cause of the unworkability in their lives and organisations – the direct result of their own attempts to violate the Law of Integrity.

Example:

Jane frequently arrives late to work, telling herself it's because of traffic delays. She doesn't realise she's not keeping her promise to be on time because she constantly makes excuses.

5. Integrity is keeping one's word

From the document:

The belief that integrity is keeping one's word – period – leaves no way to maintain integrity when this is not possible, or when it is inappropriate, or when one simply chooses not to keep one's word.

This leads to concealing not keeping one's word, which adds to the veil of invisibility about the impact of violations of the Law of Integrity.

Example: Mark promises to help his friend move furniture on Saturday. When Saturday arrives, he's too tired and stays home without telling his friend. He believes he must always keep his promises but doesn't admit when he can't.

6. Fear of acknowledging you are not going to keep your word

From the document:

When maintaining your integrity (i.e., acknowledging that you are not going to keep your word and cleaning up the mess that results) appears to you as a threat to be avoided (like it was when you were a child) rather than simply a challenge to be dealt with, you will find it difficult to maintain your integrity.

When not keeping their word, most people choose the apparent short-term gain of hiding that they will not keep their word. Thus out of fear we are blinded to (and therefore mistakenly forfeit) the power and respect that accrues from acknowledging that one will not keep one's word or that one has not kept one's word.

Example:

Lisa promised to finish a project by Friday. When she realizes she can't, she doesn't tell her boss because she's afraid of disappointing him. This makes things more stressful for everyone.

7. Integrity is not seen as a factor of production

From the document:

This leads people to make up false causes and unfounded rationalisations as the source(s) of failure, which in turn conceals the violations of the Law of Integrity as the source of the reduction of the opportunity for performance that results in failure.

Example:

A company skips quality checks to produce faster, thinking integrity doesn't matter. When projects fail, they blame market trends instead of seeing that their lack of integrity caused the problems.

8. Not doing a cost/benefit analysis on giving one's word

From the document:

When giving their word, most people do not consider fully what it will take to keep that word. That is, people do not do a cost/benefit analysis on giving their word.

In effect, when giving their word, most people are merely sincere (well-meaning) or placating someone, and don't even think about what it will take to keep their word.

Simply put, this failure to do a cost/benefit analysis on giving one's word is irresponsible.

Irresponsible giving of one's word is a major source of the mess left in the lives of people and organisations. People generally do not see the giving of their word as: "I am going to make this happen," but if you are not doing this you will be out-of-integrity.

Generally people give their word intending to keep it. That is, they are merely sincere. If anything makes it difficult to deliver, then they provide reasons instead of results.

Example:

Tom says he'll help plan a friend's event but doesn't think about how busy he is. When his schedule gets too full, he can't help, causing disappointment and stress.

9. Doing a cost/benefit analysis on honouring one's word

From the document:

People almost universally apply cost/benefit analysis to honouring their word. Treating integrity as a matter of cost/ benefit analysis guarantees you will not be a trustworthy person, or with a small exception, a person of integrity.

If I apply cost/benefit analysis to honouring my word, I am either out of integrity to start with because I have not stated the cost/benefit contingency that is in fact part of my word (I lied), or to have integrity when I give my word, I must say something like the following:

"I will honour my word when it comes time for me to honour my word if the costs of doing so are less than the benefits."

Such a statement, while leaving me with integrity will not engender trust. In fact it says that my word is meaningless.

Example:

Sarah says she'll volunteer if she doesn't have anything else to do. When other things come up, she backs out, showing her promise wasn't sincere because it was based on convenience.

10. Integrity is a Mountain with No Top

From the document: > People systematically believe that they are in integrity, or if by chance they are at the moment aware of being out of integrity, they believe that they will soon get back into integrity. > > In fact integrity is a mountain with no top. However, the combination of 1) generally not seeing our own out-of-integrity behaviour, 2) believing that we are persons of integrity, and 3) even when we get a glimpse of our own out-of-integrity behaviour, assuaging ourselves with the notion that we will soon restore ourselves to being a person of integrity keeps us from seeing that in fact integrity is a mountain with no top. > > To be a person of integrity requires that we recognise this and learn to enjoy climbing.

Example:

Paul thinks he's always honest but overlooks the small lies he tells. He plans to fix them later, believing he can regain his integrity, not realizing that maintaining integrity is a continuous effort.

11. Not having your word in existence when it comes time to keep your word

From the document: > People say "Talk is cheap" because most people do not honour their word when it comes time to keep their word. A major source of people not honouring their word, is that when it comes time for them to do so, their word does not exist for them in a way that gives them a reliable opportunity to honour their word. > > Most people have never given any thought to keeping their word in existence so that when it comes time for them to keep their word there is a reliable opportunity for them to honour their word. This is a major source of out-of-integrity behaviour for individuals, groups and organisations. > > In order to honour your word, you will need an extraordinarily powerful answer to the question, "Where Is My Word When It Comes Time For Me To Keep My Word?" If you don't have a way for your word to be powerfully present for you in the moment or moments that it is time for you to take action to honour your word, then you can forget about being a person of integrity, much less a leader.

Example:

Emma promises to submit a report by Friday but forgets to set a reminder. She misses the deadline because she didn't plan properly.

Tactics I use to maintain my integrity

Calendar

I always stick to my calendars. I've combined all my calendars (Personal, iO, Lyreco) into my Mac calendar so I can see everything in one place. This helps me keep track of what I need to do and find free time.

You'll be surprised to see how many events overlap and how busy you really are.

Trello

I use Trello, but any to-do list app will work. Trello is simple: it has three columns—Backlog, To-do, and Done.

I write down every task that comes to mind in the backlog. This means I have a lot of tasks! Every day after work, I look at my backlog and only move tasks to the to-do list if I've set a time for them in my calendar. Otherwise, they just add stress.

When you do this, you'll see how your commitments don't always fit into your schedule! When I find a time slot, I set a due date for the Trello task that matches the calendar event.

Important: I don't set deadlines like "Finish Task X." That adds stress, especially if there are unknowns. Instead, I plan actions: "Ask person X about documentation," "Work on feature X," or "Read article Y about feature X."

Tasks should be clear. The clearer they are, the less likely you are to procrastinate. This keeps your commitments organized.

Here's the key: I don't do anything that's not on my calendar. If I want to do something, it must be scheduled. I use phone notifications to remind me of my commitments.

This is the first step to keeping your word—if I realize I can't keep a promise (calendar events), I quickly tell those involved and reschedule.

Tip: Not doing this can make you anxious about unfinished tasks. Rescheduling them helps you feel more productive and responsible.

You'll learn what a task is versus a deadline by using this method to avoid extra stress.

Spend time every day organizing your Trello tasks.

Even if you follow all my steps, you might still delay promises. If it happens more than three times, I know the problem isn't "What," "How," or "When" but "Why." It's not a priority for me, so why did I agree to it? It's a great question I think about in my daily journaling when something makes me break my word.

Writing about it helps me find contradictions in my promises. For example, I once promised to do something for my wedding over the weekend but didn't do it. Through journaling, I realized work-life balance is important to me. So, I moved the task to weekdays, which matched my goal of not using my laptop on weekends.

Sometimes, procrastination happens because you're not being true when you promise. For example, my manager asked me to do Task X, but I avoided it because I felt I shouldn't be doing it. I wasn't confident enough to say so. Fear of confrontation or unspoken feelings can lead to breaking your word.

Even if you don't try to find out what's really important to you, you might not be true to yourself because you're pretending to be something you're not—not out of dishonesty but because you don't know what you really want. This leads to promising things you don't want to do.

Also, if you're not sure how to do a promised task, you might need to plan some steps first. It can help to schedule a task just to figure out what's expected of you. Sometimes, you might even need a task before that one. Keep organizing until your first step is clear and doable.

Tip: If there's a task that takes less than 2 minutes (like messaging someone), I do it during planning.

Conclusion

Integrity is important in all parts of life, both personal and professional. It's not just about meeting deadlines or following rules; it's about truly keeping your word and making sure your commitments match your real values.

If you want to take the same leadership course, you can check out the Landmark Worldwide website.

You can read more about integrity in the following references:

References

1. Erhard, W., Jensen, M. C., & Zaffron, S. (2009). Integrity: A Positive Model that Incorporates the Normative Phenomena of Morality, Ethics, and Legality. Harvard Business School NOM Working Paper No. 06-11

2. Erhard, W., & Jensen, M. C. (2013). The Four Ways of Being that Create the Foundation for Great Leadership, a Great Organisation, and a Great Personal Life. Harvard Business School NOM Unit Working Paper No. 14-027

3. Jensen, M. C. (2009). Integrity: Without it Nothing Works. Rotman Magazine: The Magazine of the Rotman School of Management